5 Human Capacities
Lesson 3*
Feel Your Connection with Others — Humanity as a Tribe
The pandemic has drastically changed our social lives. Whether we were truly connecting before the pandemic is a question to sit with, as sometimes being social can easily become “always going out and doing.” Yet we all instinctually know that we need our tribe. During lockdown we grieved our separation deeply, and, too, we may have had a rough transition in working and living around our core family unit 24/7 where agitation, anger, and fear may have been more prominent than connection.
What if one of the painful but real lessons of the pandemic is to feel just how deeply connected we are on very subtle levels? Could we create a “tribal glue” that gives us energy, vitality, and reduces or even eliminates worry?
Our bodies are our barometer. Children under seven, and animals, naturally and easily live in the non-verbal realm and are in their bodies all the time. My dog will leave the room if my husband and I are talking for too long. One of our cats will look at my husband in disdain when he hasn’t been sufficiently quiet, and in my babysitting work, kids will immediately change action when they feel me begin to think too much. Prior to overthinking we had been connecting in the non-verbal realm, but the moment I leave my body, the children immediately feel the disconnection. In contrast, the more I hone living from my belly, the safer the children feel.
Our capacity to connect with one another, a connection that begins in the “U” dimension and is brought to light by the "A" dimension, is an innate human trait. Young children reside in this realm. Watch how an infant breathes — it is fully from the belly. In Tai Chi the belly is “the governor.” It’s where we digest our lives and also connect with others, even if they are not in the same room or building.
Within the context of our “tribal glue” let’s start with feeling the closest network of people in our lives. Some of us have children or babysit children, others have tight-knit friendship circles and/or care for animals. Take time to feel again an experience where you felt connected in the unspoken realm. You may have had someone “read your mind” and act or react upon it. Remembering back, what do you sense within your body now? Did you and your friends or family have an intention for connection, even if unspoken? Do you have emotions arise even now in feeling back to that time? In that past experience did you stay in the connected “place” for a long time? If so how did it feel? Spacious? Easy? Could you feel others supporting to keep that connection going along with you? And if you didn’t, what disconnected the “tribal glue”? How did the disconnection feel in your body? Tight? Clenched? Was there anger?
And don't forget to once again try the sound aloud, as you did in Lesson 1. Close your eyes and, with spine straight, drop your attention to your belly. Start with your teeth touching and then, for the U sound, open your mouth to form a natural opening and say "oo" with your full voice for as long as is comfortable within a single breath. Do not let the sound continue for a very long time, as in a mantra. At the end of the sound, again touch your teeth together.
Then, repeat this method for the sound of "Wu."
Notice how you feel after each sound.
The U-Wu dimension weaves a thread from our tanden—our lower belly—to others. This week, expand the practice of noticing your body sensations to an exploration of dropping to the belly and feeling others.
*This lesson offered by Brenda Meether.